My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
