Who wears a wallet chain?!
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
