I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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