that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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