i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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