Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I'm jealous of your bromance
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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