i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
But we have bathrooms and they dont
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
