I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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