I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
