haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
