A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Come share oat with me in your robe
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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