At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Randomize
