508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Randomize
