She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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