you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
