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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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