Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
