i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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