It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
