Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
