we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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