What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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