Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
