dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Your penis caused this!
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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