hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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