i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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