I hate your face
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
