dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I understand Curling. That high.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
