i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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