Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
