I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
