I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
