Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Shame - the story of my life.
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