so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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