what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I need to stop coming to work sober
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
