glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
