ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
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