dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
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