Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I think I just sharted jello shots
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
