My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
