so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
