You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
