It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
