You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
