he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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