maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
