Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
