Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
