I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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