Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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