if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
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